The magic of becoming a giver

Becoming a giver can transform your life and lead you to sustained happiness.

Christmas time was something I looked forward to in those years. But not because of the reasons you may think of. The reasons, in actuality, were much more selfish. See, I was a property manager at that time and I knew that most owners and residents would be sending me Christmas gifts in the form of checks and cash. In my mind I was building the projections. This owner will probably send $150 because he’s so generous, the other one probably $100...Yet others - maybe $25, if that, or a box of chocolates that I don’t need. So all and all I should have close to $500 in Christmas gifts. That’s pretty good! And I’ll be sure to drop down a couple of lines in a “Thank You” card and send it back to them - to show my appreciation. That should make them feel good. I can’t send them any gifts though. After all, they have all the money, not me...

I imagine I’m not the only person who can have this mindset. I imagine most people live with “poor me” written all over them, dreading their powerlessness and victimhood in this life. And I even dare to imagine that they sincerely believe this to be true. I know I did, for sure. And they’re not to be blamed. They have been programmed this way probably from early childhood, by their parents and environment. They don’t know that an alternative exists.For someone else - maybe. But not for them. How about you? Do you feel this way?

When 2014 rolled around things were starting to shift within me. Although weak, but nevertheless new and unfamiliar patterns were starting to emerge. These changes came after reading “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne. You may have heard of it as it was also made into a popular movie. The book is about the law of attraction. It talks about how expressing gratitude for certain things can help you manifest more of those things. Since I wasn’t very happy or satisfied with my life at that point I decided to give Rhonda the benefit of the doubt. On a sunny day sometime in February at my lunch time I devoted about 20 minutes to feeling gratitude for all the job interviews in my past. I would remember all the “right answers” that I gave, all the strengths I thought I exhibited during the interviews. This gratitude was heartfelt and sincere. Magically within 2 weeks of that experience 2 new job interviews landed on my lap. One of them turned into a better job opportunity so within a month I had a new job with better pay!

Uplifted by this experience I decided to read another book by Rhonda Byrne called “Magic” which is entirely about gratitude. The application of the action steps outlined in the book further fertilized the soil of my soul. Gratitude helped me overcome some of the negative emotions that had been holding me down, including guilt, regret, jealousy, fear and indifference. This may sound abstract to you now, but trust me, as someone who had been dominated by those negative emotions all of his conscious life before the big change, practicing gratitude is well worth the try.

Now, think about yourself for a moment. If science invented a fancy new “emotion meter” and you attached it to your heart and monitored your emotions 24 hours a day, what emotions would you observe? Which emotions are running YOUR life? Remember, the “emotion meter” has a 100% accuracy rate so you can’t lie to yourself. Is it anger, frustration, sadness, guilt, worry, fear? Or is it love, joy, gratitude, peace, serenity and faith? Here is the big surprise. The “emotion meter” has been invented. In fact it has been around since the beginning of time. And it has always been available, even if you weren’t aware of its existence. Your life today, at this second, your results, your experiences, your surroundings, your environment is the most accurate measurement of your emotions. You may be sure that if your life is dominated by negative events and people, that is a direct result of the emotions and feelings you have been dominated by before today.

Thankfully, the creator of this “emotion meter” has also given YOU the tools to adjust the temperature, i.e your life results. And right now, at this moment, perhaps for the first time in your life, you are getting the access to the remote control for the “emotion meter”. There are many channels you can tune in to, including gratitude, love, joy, appreciation etc. But today I want to introduce you to an action channel that can change your life forever.

I learned about this principle from Napoleon Hill in his famous bestseller “Think and Grow Rich”. It’s the law of increasing returns, also known as the law of sowing and reaping, the Golden Rule. If you render someone a service that you are not expected to render, and do it in a positive, pleasing mental attitude without expecting anything in return, the law of increasing returns will bring back to you more of the kind.

In the beginning of 2015 is when I started intentionally applying this principle. Daily I would ask myself: “What good can I do to someone who doesn’t expect it today?” Answers started flowing in. Even though financially I was in a pretty tight space, with full faith and trust I decided to implement my decisions. I started leaving $1.00 tips to cashiers at 7-Elevens and grocery stores, paying for people behind me at the drive throughs… On Valentine’s Day I bought a bouquet of red roses, broke it apart and left a single red rose on every desk at my work before anyone got there in the morning. I started genuinely complimenting everyone, especially people who are not used to it (drive through attendants, construction workers, janitors, etc). I’ll be honest, it was quite uncomfortable at first. People in those situations were always caught by surprise, dazzled, sometimes speechless...and ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL! Those smiles, those grateful looks, and tears on some occasions, were priceless. I realized that even if the law of sowing and reaping was false, even if I didn’t get any sort of financial return, the unspoken joy, happiness and gratitude I experienced as a result of these silent acts of unconditional kindness were more than enough compensation. I bring up these acts not for bragging, but in the most humble way to give you examples of how deeds so small and seemingly insignificant can profoundly affect the lives of others and yours.

It was Christmas season of 2015. I was a changed man, forever. No longer was I making projections of the checks and cash I was going to receive. No longer was I looking forward to receiving at all! All I could think about was giving. Who can I GIVE to? Who can I HELP and HOW? Magically, within about 2-3 months of starting to intentionally apply the law of sowing and reaping blessings started pouring into my life. Again, out of nowhere I got a wonderful job offer, my sales started increasing, my wife’s business started to flourish. And to top it all off our baby girl was born on December 21st, 2015 right on time for Christmas, as a testament to the power of giving, the power of doing good, the power of feeling good, the power of being good. Could all of these blessings be coincidental? Absolutely not! They couldn’t be as nothing of the sort happened to me in my 33 years of life before the big change.

Today you have received a magic key. The magic key of giving - giving intentionally, giving unconditionally, giving wholeheartedly, without an expectation for anything in return. Don’t think of giving just as “giving money” which you might not have. Give a smile, give a compliment, give

your time, give your encouragement, give your service, give your love, give your support, give your appreciation and gratitude. Give more than you think people deserve. It matters not whether the receivers will appreciate you, or thank you. That’s secondary. Remember, you’re not looking for anything in return anyway. Just keep giving. Not only will you never be the same again, but your life will never be the same again. Guaranteed!

So start today, start small. Ask yourself the same question Benjamin Franklin asked himself every morning: “What good shall I do today?”. Then make it more specific “Who do I know (or don’t know) that may need help but doesn’t expect any?”. And wait for the answers. They will pop into your head. All you’ll have to do is listen to them then ACT! Welcome to YOUR new, happy, joyful and fulfilling life!